Ruby's Brownies
by leonheartgirl
Summary: Emma volunteers Killian to help bus tables with Ruby and gets a lot more than she expected.


Emma sat at her desk, rolling her shoulders slowly as she laid her pen down. The simple action was welcomed for the sheer normalcy of it. She could momentarily forget about the craziness that was her life; if she didn't think Archie had enough problems of his own, she would have been having shrink sessions to try to come to terms with all the magic mumbo jumbo princess stuff.

After the rescue mission to Neverland, she had come home to an unseemly amount of paperwork. The towns people had been pretty lively in the absence of the authority figures, though Belle had done a good job all in all. Getting back into routine had taken a bit- Henry wasn't ready for school yet and had just started sleeping in his own room again. Emma hadn't minded a bit; she needed just as much reassurance of his safety as he did. Regina had surprisingly kept her distance until Emma brought him over to stay for the week. Killian had been with her constantly since then...

She shook her head as she caught her mind drifting. It was only half past nine, but she was restless. Her eyes wandered over the room slowlyl before settling on the clock hanging on the wall.

"Emma, get outta here. That's the fifth time you've looked at the clock in the past minute and a half," came the rueful observation from David, who was raising an eyebrow at her. She scowled.

"I have not-" she began, but he cut her off.

"Look, I know you want to go see how Hook's handling things at Granny's. Go on, I've got this covered," he told her, waving her towards the door. Neverland had helped the both of them come to terms with the father/daughter relationship, though he took the overprotective Daddy a little too seriously in her opinion. She twisted her lips against a smile and grabbed her keys, slowly making her way to the door. She hesitated, looking back at him.

"You're sure-"

"Bye, Emma!"

She chuckled to herself and quickly strode out of the building, tucking her keys in her pocket. Her curiosity was certainly getting the better of her. Killian had moved in with her upon their return to Storybrooke and it was definitely something to get used to. She'd come home the first day to an impeccably spotless house and every day after, something was being repaired or replaced. She knew he wanted to make himself useful to her in ways besides just being there for her and she appreciated it. But still. His constant attention to her apartment had begun to wear on her nerves. She began to ask casually around town if someone needed a little help here and there. Granny had told her he could help Ruby bus tables while she took the night off, so Emma had sent him on his merry way.

The walk to Granny's was short and she walked in, noticing the place was completely empty. Her eyebrows furrowed together and she looked around slowly.

"Ruby?" she called, and almost instantly the brunette was at her side, looking oddly distressed.

"Emma, thank God, I've been calling you for ages!" Ruby exclaimed, her brown eyes wide with a plethora of emotions. Emma cursed inwardly, thinking of her phone sitting on the charger in her apartment. Immediately she was on red-alert.

"What's wrong?" she asked urgently. "Where's Killian?"

A look of guilt flashed over Ruby's face, but before she could answer, a loud voice rang through the diner.

"Hullloooo, darling!" Killian crowed, a languid smile stretching across his lips. He made his way towards her, moving deliberately and slowly towards her before stumbling over his own feet. Ruby's lips pressed together, watching Emma closely, who in turn was staring the pirate down, looking incredibly confused. He didn't seem to notice and he grinned at her lazily. "I have just been having the most _marvelous _time with Ms. Wolfie here."

Emma's eyebrows shot up incredulously and she blinked several times, trying to make sense of his behavior. He grabbed her scarf and began rubbing it almost like a cat, his eyes staring at it in wonder. She looked harder and noticed the bright blue irises of his eyes were barely showing and the whites red…

It all clicked together and her jaw dropped. She saw Ruby wince and she rounded on her.

"Is he _stoned_?" she demanded in disbelief and the pirate let out a laugh- no giggle- and shook his head back and forth incredibly slow.

"Silly love, no one has thrown stones at me," he replied.

Ruby's lips were pressed together and she gave a nervous laugh. "It was an accident…"

"How could him being high be an accident?" Emma cried indignantly. "Ruby, it's illegal!"

"No it isn't," Ruby said quickly, her voice slightly defensive. "Viktor-" she blushed as Emma's expression soured."-I mean Dr. Whale thought that medicinal marijuana would help me during the full moon."

"That still doesn't explain how_ he-"_

She was distracted by Killian suddenly walking over to the door and batting at the welcoming bell. With every ring he sniggered to himself. "I'm tinkering with a bell."

Ruby let out a laugh but was instantly chastised into silence, and said, "It was so slow tonight and Hook said he was hungry, so I told him he could go get something to eat."

Emma sighed in pure exasperation. "Pot brownies."

"Hey Swan, can I tinker _your_ bell?" Killian asked impishly and Emma rolled her eyes, rubbing her temples.

The girl sighed as well, nodding. She said, "I didn't think anything of it. Granny doesn't like brownies so I didn't think of anyone besides me eating them."

"And how many did he eat?" Emma asked as she watched him, trying to gauge how the rest of her evening would go. She had handled him fine after he had been hit by the car, but that was a different kind of high. Biting her lip, she tried not to think of what her younger self had always wanted when under the influence of weed. Ruby still hadn't answered and the blonde snapped, "How many?"

"Uh, all of them."

"_What?!"_

Emma's expression was immediately murderous and Ruby took a step back, cringing at her wrath. Killian bounced over, his eyes glazed over.

"Why are you called a Swannnnn? You don't look anything one," he observed, tilting his head all the way to the side. He continued to bounce on the balls of his feet, turning in circles in the process.

Emma grumbled under her breath before taking his hand. "C'mon stoner, we're going home."

Ruby gave her an apologetic smile, her hands wringing themselves repeatedly. "I'm really sorry, Emma."

The blonde sighed, shaking her head ruefully. "It's fine, Ruby. He'll be fine after he has something to eat and can sleep it off."

He looked over at her and gave a toothy grin, before waggling his eyebrows "I know _exactly_ what I want to eat and sleep with and it starts with an E-"

Emma cut him off, a vicious blush coloring her cheeks. "That's enough!" she ordered loudly and began to drag him out of the diner as Ruby's laughter echoed behind them.

"That's not what you said last-"

"_Shut up!_"


End file.
